Freelancing + new country - friends = existential dread
If you know me personally, you'll know that I started freelancing full-time in 2019. Although I am still nearer to the beginning of my journey than any other part, I already feel more comfortable in my routine and my skills.
What I did not consider, however, was how that coincided with my experience in moving and settling to another new country. This is an experience I've had to go through several times now. For anyone else who has lived something similar, you will also know that moving to a new country and establishing a life for yourself while you're there is never easy. Don't get me wrong, these are the type of experiences that have changed my life for the better, and I would recommend it to anyone. As well as being forced to do everything for myself and learn to become an adult, living abroad alone really taught me how to cope without having all my friends around me constantly.
There is a hypothesis, albeit unproven, that spending time in the company of others whose backgrounds/mentalities/thought processes are different from your own; it makes you more sure in your own decision-making which can seriously boost confidence, which is a crucial trait for moulding and shaping that thing we call “a life.”
Upon moving to Lyon, I immediately started focusing on how to launch my career, and start gaining contacts and work. I began pouring virtually all of my time into my work life, and I was really happy when I started to see my efforts paying off in certain aspects. But in the midst of all the freelance madness, I had been totally neglecting my social life. I realised that I had already spent two months in my new home, and for maybe the first time, I had no friends. This didn't come as a massive surprise since I was well aware of the lack of time I was investing into social activities, but for the first time since I arrived, I actually started to feel worried about how the hell I was going to find friends. Despite the fact I'm not alone because I live with someone, I started to feel a bit sad that my life was only really taking place within the walls of a one apartment.
I didn't really see myself having the guts to try it the old-fashioned way, casually strolling into a bar, striking up a conversation with the closest fellow loner. Turning up to Facebook events alone didn't really tickle my fancy either, and it's not like I'm a student who can benefit from student events or societies. Thankfully though, in this modern age, there are ways to meet people without making any effort whatsoever; a genius innovation bestowed upon us. I am, of course, talking about apps! I am proud to say that I have never used a dating app, but I had absolutely no qualms about downloading dating app, Bumble, to use its BFF feature. It was my first time using an app as a means to meet people. I suppose I am lucky to be able to say that, but I felt hesitant nonetheless. I am incredibly glad in the end that I bit this bullet and decided to meet another woman of a similar age and situation. It was strange to feel excited to meet someone new, and at the same time, still feel some of the pressures associated with a date, despite the absence of romance.
I am happy, and also relieved, to say it was an extremely positive experience. As well as meeting a really nice person with similar interests to my own, it led to the discovery of the best hot chocolate in the city, and my newfound knowledge that there is a weekly pub quiz going on not far away.
The circumstances of moving here were quite frantic, so it was easy to focus on what seemed more important at the time (a place to live, that is). I never stopped to think about the outcome of combining moving to, and settling in a new country. To be quite honest, I think the only factor that ensured my sanity was the prior experience in living abroad. As I mentioned before, for me, this was really key in learning how to stand on my own two feet, taught me how to deal with spending time alone, and how to get the most out of that time.
Embarking upon full-time freelancing has posed me more challenges than I perhaps expected, but I have no regrets about the career choices I’ve made so far. I consider myself incredibly lucky to get up every day and be paid to do something I just genuinely really enjoy. Hard work pays off, this much I know. My plans only involve staying on my current path and pursuing it as far as it goes. As for socialising, it's okay to feel the effects of lack of company - it takes a bit of getting used to, but equally, I've learned it’s good to be open to every, and any, opportunity that could lead to positive life experiences.
